Mutant
by Music.Junkie98
Summary: Mutant. Freak. Disgusting. Animal. Monster. That was me in a nutshell. That was all I am and ever will be. Is there anything human inside? Or am I just an animal? Evra/OC
1. Chapter 1

Prolong

Mutant. Freak. Disgusting. Animal. Monster.

Yea, yea, yea. I've heard it all before. I know I'm scum that shouldn't be breathing, a waste of energy, a disappointment, a mess-up of genetics, blah de blah blah blah. I don't care anymore. I don't.

I made myself remember that as the horde of people came to ridicule me, knowing very well that it's a lie. Normally, the kids came for the general feel of a circus, but the adults came for the freak. The Tiger Girl. There's been some who came and tried to help me, and tell me to not be ashamed, but they disappeared as quick as their words did when someone walked up to me in my cage and drew back in disgust.

In a sudden flood of anger, I gripped the iron bars, and growled at them all, like a tiger. My fang-filled mouth opened wide, and a inhuman, terrifying noise came out. Strong fingers with nails like claws wrapped around the bar, about to break them and slice the flesh of every last person. Fur stood up on my back, as my long, lithe, lean body, lined with black stripes against amber tensed. I was completely animal at that one moment-the only thing remotely human was my face, which even that was twisted into a bloodthirsty mask .

They all laughed, and said I was a dumb beast. That anger quickly turned to sadness. I snuck back, regaining my humanity, and huddled close to myself in my hay-covered cage.

This happened on multiple occasions in one night. It amounted to a large total when calculated just how many times I had felt the same sadness, considering I had been doing the same thing since I was only 5, when my mother left me on the footsteps of a circus ringmaster.

Even though freak shows are illegal, this circus isn't a freak show. One deformed person-they could say it was a costume, and that I was paid and all that bullshit. They had never gotten caught.

I had successfully gotten through one day. That's the most I can ever ask. It's sad, but true. I growled aloud, trying to find some way to get out my anger. I heard the ringmaster yell, "SHUT UP, YOU BEAST!"

That's it. That's fucking it.

I felt a vicious surge of power, as my mind shifted from almost human, to completely Tiger. I rocked the cage back and forth, knowing that the only metal was the bars. The rest was wood, and I could break it.

It tumbled to the ground, and I charged through the wood. I had the strength of a tiger, I had realized. I laughed evilly, and silently thanked my genetic coding, as I had pads on my hands and feet. I broke into a run, heading straight for the forest.

A few moments later, I heard voices and screams, and I pushed myself faster. I wasn't going to give up my freedom.

My tiger mind was simple, quick, and cunning. I knew where to turn, where to jump, where to avoid, where to sprint. It felt so good to run, leaving behind that prison, and let myself be the tiger I was at heart.

My heart swelled with happiness. Had I really gotten away? Was I now free? No more ridicule, no more distress, no more sadness? Giddiness filled my mind. I couldn't believe it. I was waiting to wake up, and be right back in that cage, but it never happened.

I can't beli-

_OOF!_

**Wow, that sucked. Bad first chapter . Oh, well. I had this idea, and I HAVE to write it, and I couldn't think of any better way to write the first chapter. It turned out to be a drabble of mindless angst, but I promise upon the fingers that wrote this (which is a big promise for me, considering my addiction to writing) that the next few chapters will be less fluffy, and much longer, and a lot less boring. **

**Also, I DO NOT OWN THE CIRQUE DU FREAK SERIES AND AM NO WAY MAKING A PROFIT. **

**There. Peace out. **


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't look to see who it was, before turning, and trying to run away. I knew it was _them_ trying to take me back to that _place _and I refused to go. The ringmaster was powerful-he ran faster then light, and was stronger then even I, and twice as insane, and almost as strange looking, but my will was stronger then any other force, and my determination wouldn't crumble.

I thought that until I ran into the same thing again. I finally looked, and saw that it wasn't the ringmaster, but two entirely different people. At first, I only saw one, with a mass of curly red hair and cynical eyes. The only similarity between him and the ringmaster was three claw marks on the cheek. I turned to see the other one, behind me, who was much younger and much more innocent looking, with well-kept brown hair and blue-gray eyes.

I stood up on my feet to face them. I didn't know them, but I trusted them more then the men who were probably chasing me at this moment. An awkward silence passed before there was an eruption in the bunch of trees to our right.

Two of the bad men. When I was younger, I didn't know what they were, and still don't, so I called them the 'bad men' and I still thought of them as that. They were strong, fearsome, deadly, quick, and had purple skin and long, sharp nails that had sliced my flesh on multiple occasions.

Immediately, the two I had met just moments ago attacked, matching their opponents strength. In a blur, I saw them thrown and their necks snapped. They didn't even break a sweat.

"Thank you." I sighed breathlessly. "You don't know how long it's been since they've been put in their place." I must admit, it was fun to watch my captors being killed. I wanted to dance over their dead bodies, but that might not make sure a good first impression. I didn't have any social skills to speak of, since I've been trapped in that cage for about 10 years, but I still knew that if I creeped them out now, they would always be afraid of me, and I definitely didn't want that. "Should I explain?"

"That can wait." The younger one said, examining me. That's when I noticed I was bleeding like crazy, with cuts everywhere, and matted fur. "Should we take her to the Cirque?" he asked.

"What do you think?" he hissed. "Does she look vampaneze? Go on, flit there."

"Get on my back." The younger one commanded.

"Why?" I asked, getting on anyway.

"Hold your breath." I took a large gulp, and the world turned into fluid. I couldn't focus on any one thing, and everything was blurry. In one second, we arrived in a completely different area.

I fell onto the ground, dazed and dizzy. He chuckled, and gave me a hand. "Welcome to the-," he didn't have time to finish before I passed out.

Whoa…what happened?

My eyes slowly opened, fluttering. I saw the guy standing over me. "Good. You're awake."

I sat upward, ignoring the pounding of my head. "What happened?"

"How much do you remember?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the cot I was on.

"I remember everything up until the point where I passed out." I explained. Wasn't it obvious?

"You passed out from blood loss, and I took you in here, and we stitched you up."

"We? Who's we?" I demanded.

"Everyone else at the Cirque." He shrugged.

"Cirque?" Another circus? "Oh, wonderful. I finally get away from that place, and now I wind up at another damned circus…"

"Well, it's not really a circus…" he erred.

"Then what is it?" I growled. I really growled, baring my teeth and everything. "More like a freak show?" He bit his lip, and nodded.

I was about to bolt out of there, and run like a bat out of hell, but he held me down, and he was surprisingly strong.

"God damn it, let me go! I've been stuck in a damned freak show all my life! I'm not staying here!" I let out a fearsome growl that could have been heard in China. I finally took notice of my surroundings. I was inside a white tent, lying in a hammock, and there was one other person in the room; an extremely tall man, with a firm but kind face, and dark eyes.

"Please, relax. I assure you, this is nothing like where you were before." The tall man said, trying to encourage me. I scoffed.

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?"

"Do you want to take a look?" he walked over, and opened the flat of the tent, and I saw something I…didn't expect. They were obviously all freaks, but they looked…normal. Not extravagant, not sad, happy almost. I saw no cages. I felt my face soften.

"If I see _one _cage, a single _one_, I will tear you all to shreds." I held up one long, black claw-nail.

"There is one, but it's to contain a wild animal." He explained. "Do not worry. You will not be put in a cage-I would never imagine it."

I took a deep breath, and exited the tent. Oh, wow. I couldn't focus on any one thing, there was just so much…stuff. Bright colors and laughter and even a lingering (pardon the pun) freakish-ness that reminded me of circus music, but not the sadistic type at my old one, but a happy, mystical one.

"Darren, would you go get Rebecca?" he asked, then turned to me. "After we get you cleaned up, we'll introduce you."

"Cleaned up…?" I finally looked at my fur. It was dingy and full with grass, twigs, and who knows what else. I also found that only tattered cloth covered me, barely stretching over my chest and crotch, leaving my stomach bare. My torso and face was the only place not covered in tiger fur. I grimaced.

"That would be wise." He nodded.

"Thank you, um…?"

"Mr. Tall."

"Fitting." I chuckled.

A girl, about my age, with brown hair pulled into a ponytail and a round face came over. She didn't even blink, which I found both flattering and surprising. I immediately felt comfortable with her. "Rebecca, clean her up and get her some clothes, and show her around."

"Yes, Mr. Tall." She grabbed my arm, and lead me to a small, square shaped building. When I came in, I saw a number of stalls with a fauct-looking thing on the wall, with a row of sinks and mirrors.

"I'll go find you something better to wear." She smiled. "These might work in certain situations, but you wouldn't want to give off the wrong impression." I chuckled.

I walked into one of the stalls, but I had never seen what was in them before. Sure, I've seen faucets before, but not these things, whatever they are. I slowly turned the knob, and jumped back at the sudden rain of water.

Hm. It was like controlling a small amount of rain. I flinched at the coldness, and turned up the heat. I moaned. I had never felt something so good. Whatever cleaning I got back at the circus, it was brief, and normally just a hose of cold water. I couldn't help standing in the warm water, eyes closed, sighed and completely forgetting about the rest of the world.

After I grew used to it, I began to pick any other debris out of my fur. It was surprisingly easy-the water washed most of it away.

In a few minutes, the girl, apparently named Rebecca came in with towels and and some clothes. "So, what is your name?" she asked as I began to dry myself.

"I have no clue, really." I didn't know. I've been in that circus since I was 5, and they never gave me a name, only called me 'Tiger Girl.' I looked at my skin. "How about Amber?" I asked. I've heard of that name before. It sounded legitimate.

"Alright, Amber, after you get dressed, you need to tell me everything."

"About what?"

"Your life. It's obvious you didn't just appear." She threw some clothing over the edge of the stall. It was a long-sleeved yellow shirt and a pair of jeans (which I learned what where from listening in to conversations) and it was hard to wear with my tail, but I managed.

"Perfect." Rebecca sighed. "Come on-I'll show you around."

I walked out of the stall, but paused at the mirrors.

I had never gotten a decent look at myself. It's not like they gave me a mirror. I tried to imagine what I looked like, but I came no where near close.

I didn't look as much like a tiger as I thought. Sure, I had a tail, but the only relatively tiger-ish thing about my was my limbs were covered in striped fur, but I otherwise looked like a human. I had long hair, as it had never been cut before, and swayed just past my hips, jet-black.

My face looked strange, but not freak worthy-with a small, pointed nose and cat-like features, I looked much less like a tiger and more like a house cat. I could already tell my hair would be a hassle.

"Rebecca, do you have any scissors?" I asked.

"Hair too long?" she asked, as if it were obvious. "I'll take care of it later. Besides, it's perfect anyway."

I was hesitant in walking out of the steamy warm room, but I still held myself high and prideful, and tense. I was waiting to feel rope around my neck, dragging me into a cage, and hearing the painful click of a lock that signaled imprisonment.

I saw too many things to take in all at once. There were trailer apartment-like things painted pink, wooden walkways, a number of interestingly designed tents, a fire, a troth, and about a million other things. I saw small people with withered, misshapen faces in cloaks (which, shockingly, didn't strike me as that weird) and two girls with bodies like puzzle pieces.

There was a small group of people in the center, probably anxious to meet me. Rebecca led me into the cluster, and I suddenly felt nervous. I looked like the creepiest things here (so far) and I wondered if it is possible to be too much of a freak here.

One woman that looked about 20-something with short, curly blond hair stood up to greet me, holding out a hand. "Welcome to the Cirque." I shook her hand unsurely. "Don't be nervous-we're all a big family." She smile was bright. I wondered what was supposed to be weird about her. She seemed perfect.

I scanned over the group. I saw an African American that seemed too skinny, and another man that was positively freaky with two stomachs (at least it looked it) and a girl with over sized teeth (but was pretty otherwise) and an exotic looking, black-haired woman with distant eyes. They all looked excited, but not in the least afraid.

"This is Alexander Ribs, Rambus Two-," Rebecca started, but I interrupted her.

"Wait. Why is he called Alexander 'Ribs'?" I asked. The man just stood up, and took off his shirt. I was surprised I didn't gasp. It looked as if someone had cut off his stomach, leaving only his spine and thin layer of skin. His ribs even poked out of his skin.

"Rambus Twobellies, Gertha Teeth, and Madame Truska." She continued. I half-halfheartedly gave a 'hello.'

I felt obvious tension, but continued on. While she was explaining to me about the 'Little People' I heard someone call her name. She sighed. "Sorry. They're helpless without me." She cupped a hand around her mouth. "Evra!" she called. I glanced in 'Evra's' direction, and my jaw dropped.

Guess I'm not so alone after all. He looked like a reptile, with green, scaled skin, yellow eyes, and small, even, razor sharp teeth. He had a lanky posture, and looked extremely laid-back. I felt myself relax. Guess I'm not that much of a freak.

As he turned his eyes on me, I noticed something that only looked like shock for one moment, but happy shock, and then calm interest. He strode over, with a friendly look on his face.

"Evra, show her around please. I have to go help them with the costumes." Rebecca said before scurrying off.

"So, newbie, huh?" he asked.

"No, I've always been here, just invisible." I scoffed sarcastically. "Yes, I'm new. I'm Amber."

"Ouch." He smirked. "I'm Evra Von. And, even though you've probably been told this already, welcome to our creepy little family. Where'd you come from? Most of us have been here all of our lives."

"I'd rather not talk about it." I admitted. I hardly knew him-why would I open up to him about my life?

"That's cool. Tell me whenever." He backed off. Good. I'm not afraid to use my claws. "What do you think of the Cirque so far?" he sounded like he was just trying to make conversation.

"I've only been here for an hour or so. How can I draw a conclusion?"

"Wow. Cynical, aren't you?" he chuckled.

"Great job, Einstein. I've already met everyone, and everyone I haven't met, I'll meet eventually." I shrugged.

"Ok. If you need anything, we're here for you. And don't worry." This was the first time he sounded sincere. "They've been taking care of me since I was 2 days old. They won't hurt you. You might have gotten used to being an outcast, but here, everyone will look out for you." I…wow. I assumed him just to be some dim-witted slacker but…wow.

"Thank you." I whispered. My voice was much less harsh then it was before. "I can already tell this is a lot better."

Again, I would prefer critique, especially on this chapter (I'm afraid they aren't in character enough) but any other reviews are gladly taken :D

**If you have any ideas, I would love to hear them. **

**-Hannah **


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter might be a little boring, because nothing really happens, expect Amber gets settled in, so…not too much fun, but important.**

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I did many things that day, after I got past my distrust. First, I asked Mr. Tall about an act, as I learned that this was a traveling freak show, which sounds worse then it actually is. In some way, I would be included in this-I mean, I'm half tiger. Even though there's already a snake boy in the show, a tiger would be just as interesting.

"We can you do?" Mr. Tall asked. "Besides be a tiger."

"I'm a little flexible. I've walked on a tightrope before, and I always land on my feet." I smiled at the cliche, but I had heard people say two things about cats-1, they have nine lives, and 2, they always land on their feet. I normally land on my feet, but I didn't want to test the 'nine lives' thing. "I can also scare people to death." I grinned evilly at the thought. Every now and then, there was a bratty, spoiled little kid who made fun of me, pulled my hair, put gum in my fur. I growled and snapped, and normally made them wet themselves. The mother would get angry, and my keepers often punished me, but it was so worth it.

"I will think of something." He promised.

"Thank you, Mr. Tall." I nodded, smiling. I definitely liked Mr. Tall. He seemed more like a father then an owner. It sprung on me that he didn't think of this as a freak show, but more a home for us. We weren't here to make him profit-we were here because he cared for us. The fact that it's a freak show is not relevant to him.

I then went to Rebecca, who took my measurements and took ideas for a costume, and also gave me some clothes.

"I think Mr. Tall's going to make me do flexible cat-stuff." I suggested.

"Cat-stuff?" she chuckled. "I have an idea on a costume. I already got you some clothes-they're sitting over there." She held out her hand to a large array of jeans, shirts, and under-garments. "Go on-I want the costume to be a surprise." She smiled. I nodded, and left the trailer.

Next, I went to Corma Limbs for toiletries-I already found her to be like a mother.

"How do you like the Cirque so far?" she raised a pencil-thin eyebrow. I shrugged.

"I thought it wouldn't be like this." I answered.

"Like what?"

"Like a big family. When I heard 'freak show' I imagined cages and chains and shame. I didn't expect it to be like a small community."

"I'm glad you like it here." She said, giving me a small bag of necessities. "Since we're all 'freaks,' to each other, we seem normal." I spent a large amount of time contemplating that.

I returned everything to my tent, which was a small white square-shaped structure, with a single hammock, and nothing else. It was a hell of a lot better then a cage, but it still felt lonely and fake. I wasn't complaining-anything was better then a straw-covered metal floor, but it still felt empty.

I put down the recent goodies I had gathered, and laid down in the hammock. I guess I was kind of stuck here-if I went back out into the world, then I'd probably be taken to another circus, or be ridiculed as much as I was before. I couldn't make it in the regular world. There's no room for a Tiger Girl.

I sighed, and left the tent. It was only about 5, and I still had the rest of the day. I had already met everyone, taken care of everything, pretty much done all I needed to do. I groaned. Is it always going to be this boring?

I saw one person reading a book, and I felt a pang of sadness. I never learned to read-anything written is just gibberish to me. Why would they teach the Tiger Girl to read? She doesn't have anything to offer to society. Why waste time?

I saw Evra with a frown on his face, cleaning out the Wolfman's cage. I stalked closer, about to ask to help, but before I could, with a satified sigh, he slammed the door shut.

"Took long enough." He groaned. "You might want to savor not having to do anything-Mr. Tall will put you to work tomorrow."

"Wonderful." I chuckled. I felt a moment of silence pass awkwardly. I didn't know exactly what to say. I never really interacted with people, you know, being in cage for most of the time.

"What do you think of everyone so far?" he asked. I realized he had already asked that question, but now I could answer it.

"It isn't like a freak show in the slightest." I admitted. "It's more like a family."

"Exactly." He beamed. "Come on-it's about time to eat." He led me to the katai. It was sad, but the only food I had ever gotten was scraps and raw meat, which should have killed regular humans, but I was, after all, part tiger. I think I have the immune system of a tiger though. I've never gotten a human disease, which is a good thing. The only downside, if I got a sickness only animals can get, it would be hard to cure me. Besides, they wouldn't know whether to take me to the hospital or vet, which could be very annoying.

I had never tasted anything better then the simple hamburgers they had that night, which most people groaned at, but I took it like it was hundred dollars. I wolfed them down (or is it 'tigered' them down?) in less then two minutes. Evra looked a little shocked, but he ate at about the same pace. I think he made a race of it.

Afterwards, I had never felt better. I was full and relaxed and happy. I heard the term 'euphoric' once or twice at my old circus, and heard words like 'confidence' 'high' 'drugs' and 'ecstasy' after it, but I learned it meant a state of well-being. I felt euphoric, like I was flying. My heart swelled painfully as I realized that this was where I was meant to be.

I turned to Evra with a smile. He gave me an odd look, probably wondering why I was so happy, but apparently it was contagious, as Rebecca and even Darren looked happy, but at that moment, I didn't really give a damn. I never felt so happy and carefree, and I ignored even the skeptical looks of Larten Crepsley and the amused expression of Madame Truska.

Later that night, as I went back to my tent, I could stop giggling. The giddiness subsided into happy, relaxed sleep as I swung in my hammock, and let my eyelids close freely, without care or worry of the next day, for the first time in my life.

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**Yay! Happiness. Don't worry. Next one will include drama and sadness, which we all secretly like more then happy-super phun time.**

**-Hannah **


	4. Chapter 4

I walked out of the tent, eyes squinting in the bright daylight. I shivered at the cool morning air, and prepared for my first full day at the Cirque.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." I heard Evra sneer.

"Excuse me?" I hissed. I remembered 'Sleeping Beauty' blurrily. Even I was a tyke, there was a nice old lady who lived near where my circus was the time. She read me a few fairy tales, including 'Sleeping Beauty' and 'Snow White.'

"You've been asleep for about 3 more hours then the rest of us." He answered. "Come on-we have work to do. Crepsley put Darren to work and Rebecca's working on your costume for the show, so I need someone to clean out the Wolfman's cage for me." He led me towards the cage.

"Cage?" I asked.

"Don't worry. I won't lock you in it." He cooed. "Most likely." I sighed, and rolled my eyes.

After the wonderful fun of cleaning out the cage full of trash and, err, waste, we had to collect food for the Little People. I wasn't expecting having to carry dead mice. I thought we'd have to catch rabbits with our bare hands, which sounded like more fun.

"Where did you live before?" Evra asked as we carried the 'feast' to the Cirque. I bit down on my lip. I ad been extremely angry, but that anger had morphed into acute sadness. For the first time, I felt tears well in my eyes.

"In a traveling circus." I whispered. I didn't want to go into much detail, so I kept it flat and expressionless. I felt blood flow into my mouth from the cuts on my lip. I kept walking, cold as ice, to the Cirque.

Later that day, Mr. Tall told me he had an act for me, and Rebecca had finished the costume. I had to jump from some higher place onto the stage, growl, and look all scary, then Evra's snake appears around my feet and then he appears and I leave. Nothing too interesting, but to people who've never seen a Tiger Girl, it's probably decent.

I went to the trailer to get my costume, which Rebecca said she finished. When I opened the door, I noticed Evra and Darren standing there. I raised an eyebrow at Rebecca.

"A second opinion." She smirked. "Besides, you'll want to appeal to the teenage boys in the audience…and guess what they are?" I didn't really care, until I saw the costume. "I guessed that since you'd be doing a lot of flexible 'cat stuff' you would want something you can move in easily."

It covered just barely more then a two-piece bathing suit. The top was low-cut on the top, high-cut on the bottom, showing some of my midriff, and the bottom was just a skimpy shirt that hardly reached my mid-thigh. Oh, and it was shiny and gold.

"Really, Rebecca?" I groaned.

"I thought it wasn't that big of a deal, since you have fur instead of skin." She shrugged. I grumbled, and went to try it on.

I can't believe I'm going to be wearing this every night. Where did my common sense go? I mean, really, I'm half-naked and covered in fur. I love my life _so _much. At least I have my sarcasm. Sarcasm makes me happy.

I felt extremely awkward until I saw their reaction. Rebecca looked at me with pride. Darren blinked. Evra had _that _look. I smiled to myself. I felt beautiful, which is something that would probably come rarely to me. I enjoyed the looks on their faces and knowing that I could control them.

For the first time, I didn't feel self-conscious, and it felt amazing.

I stalked closer to Evra, walking with cat-like (pardon the pun) grace, with an evil grin on my face. I was so close, I could feel the heat from his skin, and study the yellow irises of his eyes.

"I see you like the outfit?" I chuckled. He nodded, with a dark half-smile. He placed his hand on my knee, and traveled up my thigh. Chills shook through my body. Rebecca cleared her throat.

"We won't have a show until tomorrow, so…" she trailed off.

I changed back into regular clothes, but still felt Evra's hand. Every time I thought of it, I shuddered in pleasure, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had never felt this way about anything. I guess I never got the chance.

There was an air of awkwardness between Evra and I afterwards, but it made the atmosphere more alive, crackling with enegry. There was a silence between us, until later that night.

I was laying in my hammock, fast asleep, when dreams tormented me.

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_The click of a lock sounded through the empty campgrounds, echoing eerily. _

"_You hear this sound?" he asked, purple eyes glowing. "This sound means you will never get away. You will never escape. You never can, never will. It isn't possible-we control you in ways you can't comprehend." I growled loudly, snarling and animalistic. Who did he think he was? You can't own people. He doesn't control me. _

_His evil laugh hit my ears. "You think you scare me?You are just a kitty cat. You look dangerous, but you can't hurt me." I snarled, huddled in the corner. "You belong to us now. You are our caged animal, our pet. Even if you leave this place you will not survive." _

_Pure animal instinct took over. I flung myself forward, pushing my arm through the iron bars, using my long claw-like nails to attack him. He hissed in pain as I sliced his flesh, putting long claw-marks on his face. He seemed more annoyed then angry though. He grabbed my arm, and yanked it through the bars dangerously. My shoulder was sticking out, and my body was being compressed. Horrible pangs of stinging pain coursed though me as I screamed. _

_The man then dug his nails, which were smaller then mine but much sharper, and dug them into my stomach, going deep as he dare, and wrenched them down my torso. I was crying, screaming, begging, but he just chuckled, and let me wither in the cage. _

_He returned the next day, seeing if I were broken, but I wasn't. I attacked once more, with the small amount of remaining strength I had left. _

_It was a blur. I felt pure agony all around my body, and couldn't focus my eyes. Everywhere, I had cuts, and my blood dripped onto the straw, and I sobbed wildly. There was so much blood I couldn't think. My head was light from the loss and hurt. The man raised his arm up once more, and I let out the shrillest, loudest scream I could muster. _

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I bolted upward, screaming, breath heavy. My heart raced. My mind was still back in the dream, begging for mercy, but my eyes saw the white tent. Wild cries escaped my throat from reopened wounds and remembered pain.

What I didn't know was Evra was currently awake at the moment of my terror, bent over a piece of music with growing frustration. When he heard the scream, he forget about the music, and raced up to find the source.

He heard soft sobs coming from my tent, and came in, biting his lip. It must have been a shock seeing me, the sarcastic Tiger Girl, sobbing in her hammock, curled into a ball. He sat down next to me, and I fell into his arms, crying in his chest. At that moment, I didn't really care what he thought or did, but I needed something to pull me from the dark pit I was falling into.

He stroked my back, and shushed me, but I would not be quiet. I couldn't. The untamed sobs couldn't be stopped, until the last tear was shed. It took about 7 minutes, but I finally calmed down.

"Ok…and that was about…?" Evra asked. I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Before I came here, I was part of a traveling circus." I bit down my lip. I had promised to never tell anyone, and here I am, revealing my life's story to some guy I hardly knew. "They kept me locked in a cage for ten years. My mother had sold me to them when I was five. I was there caged animal. People flocked to see the 'Tiger Girl' and stare in disgust." I felt renewed tears come into my eyes. "For so long, I was treated like a dumb beast…at one point, that's what I had become. I was purely animal, and had lost any humanity I had." I took a deep breath. Evra had his arm around my waist, holding me close, but gently, as if I were glass. "But one day, I saw a couple kissing, and I felt jealousy…jealousy is a human emotion. I remembered that even though I had fur, I was still human." A smile crossed my face. "But even that didn't heal the wounds, or make the scars go away." I looked down at the long scars on my torso. Evra tranced them with a soft finger, and I shivered.

"I…I don't know what to say." He admitted. "How about this-insert suave, sexy comment that makes you laugh and then everything's ok." He smiled half-heartedly. I laughed softly.

"Thank you, Evra. I don't think anyone else would understand." I gave him a hug, and spread back out in my hammock. "So why were you up? I don't think I screamed loud enough to wake someone."

"I was trying to write some music, and failed." He admitted with an exasperated expression.

"You're a musician?" I asked. He scoffed.

"Depends on your definition of 'musician'." He talked for a few minutes while my heart rate slowed. After about 15 minutes, he decided he should leave.

"And, Amber." He said just before leaving. "I was trying to find inspiration for a song. I found it."

With that thought in mind, I fell asleep easily, and thankfully, uneventfully.

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**I always imagined Evra as kind of pervy…that will come out in the later chapter ;) **

**-Hannah **


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't really plan on this being a very long story-it has a very short plot-line, but I don't want to make it TOO short, so here's a nice fluffy chapter! Of course, there's character-development, and one rather important evert, but besides that, pretty much nothing happens.**

**Also, I decided to put music along with the story (to enhance the mood :D) and they're all by this one band (Two Steps from Hell) who create scores for movies and trailers, and since they have, like, a million, there's always one that fits. **

www. youtube. com/watch?v=fHaIeeIEDME&feature=related

**

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I awoke feeling refreshed and hopeful. For the first time, in the far dark corners of my mind, think of all those years I spent trapped. I was free now, untouchable, and I had a new life to live. I was no longer tied to that wretched place, and was ready to move on. I always imagined that I would have that anger follow me forever, while I was in that cage. I thought there was no escape, but there was, and I had done it. I was ready to begin a whole new chapter of my life.

I had already grown comfortable in the Cirque. I mean, sure, I was new and all, but I had realized that they were my family now, and family doesn't judge or ridicule. I might not know all their names, but they would never dream of making fun of me or harming me. I had already formed a trust that I didn't think possible, after only a few days. It felt wondrous to not have any worries or nervousness. It was pure bliss.

As I walked into the sunlight, I had a strong feeling of hope fill me to the point where it felt as if my heart may burst. I could feel it swelling painfully, looking for a way to express the unconditional love I held inside me. The larger grin I had ever created crossed my face. I closed my eyes, breathed in the air, and savored the hidden beauty of the place. Deep down, past all 'freakishness' there was a never-ending care, and whole-hearted sympathy that I had already picked up on. Everyone here was a family, and I was part of it.

"You seem happy." I heard Evra say behind me.

"I am happy." I admitted. "I've never been more."

"Well, this might make you a little less happy." He bit his lip. "Crepsley wants to see you tonight. Said he noticed something 'strange' about you ." He shrugged. "Probably nothing. But first, Mr. Tall needs you to rehearse your act. And then…well, you get the point." I chuckled.

"Yes, I get it. Busy day. Oh, well. Better then doing nothing." I turned to go to Mr. Tall's tent. "Oh, and Evra," I whispered. "Thank you. For last night." He gave a crooked half-smile.

"Anytime." I gave him an awkward one-armed hug, and left.

My act was as simple as walking around tiger-like, and walk on a tight-rope, and pretty much just be a gymnast, only show off my 'tiger-ness.'

I started to doing a series of back handsprings onto the stage. I growl a little bit, get lifted up onto a tightrope, and do all sorts of stunts, like walking on my hands, doing flings around them, pretty much anything to show off. Then, I land (on my feet) take a bow, and doing uppercuts off the stage. Rebecca actually told me the names of all the moves, and I felt extremely stupid when I had to ask her.

It was a little nerve-wreaking, as the tight rope was rather high. Most people needed some way of balancing their weight (hence the weird stick-thingy) but, due to my feline flexibility, I didn't need it.

I saw Evra watching me as I stretched. I bent backwards, my body making a half-circle, and stared right back at him upside-down. "Hello." I said.

"How do you do that?" he asked, giving a sideways looks.

"Easy." I bent upwards, and walked over to him. "Here." I pushed him backwards, and forced him to land on his hands. It didn't work out too well, and he ended up falling on the ground. I laughed.

"Damn." He cursed. I rolled my eyes, and went back to stretching. He continued to watch me with curiosity. I smiled. Time to show off.

I think because I spent so much time in that cage, I want to show off my skills more. I want to be smarter, better, stronger, faster. I wanted to be better then everyone, and I was determined to make that true.

I did a few back handsprings onto my imaginary stage, and climbed up a ladder onto a tightrope that was strung between two tents. I effortlessly walked across and back, and didn't fall, even as I walked on my hands. I landed on both feet, and gave a cocky grin.

"Show off." Evra smirked.

"You should try it some time."

"Showing off or tight rope walking?"

"Either." I said, cracking my neck. "I'm going to have to do it every show, you can do it too."

"Fine. I'll try." He climbed the ladder and put a tentative foot on the rope. After one step, he fell, landing on his back, hissing in pain. Really hissing, like a snake. I laughed.

"You might need practice." I advised. He scoffed.

"I'm _never _doing that again."

"Such a pessimist." I sighed. "Please?" I did my best puppy-dog eyes. Of course, I had little practice at it, but it seemed to work.

"Ok, ok. Put the whipped puppy eyes away."

"Yay." I smiled half-heartedly. I followed him up the ladder, and put my hands around his waist, holding him steady as he walked across. He almost fell a million times, but I had fast reflexes. It took a while, but he got across.

"See? Was that so bad?" I asked, tilting my head.

"The tight rope walking part sucked." He smirked. "But you holding on to me wasn't so bad." I walked over and back my hand on the back of his head.

"Hopefully it won't be your last chance."

"Amber!" I heard someone yell. My head whipped towards it, and I hissed with annoyance. I sighed, and ran after the voice, leaving Evra alone with the tight rope.

Apparently, the disruption was from Rebecca. She told me that tomorrow we'd go into town and get some clothes and stuff for my tent. I smiled. I hadn't been in the outside world for a long time, so it would be nice to see a city. Besides, my tent was getting dreary. I gave a sardonic 'wonderful,' and went to my long list of chores. After a soft groan, I got to work, my mind drifting.

I wondered what the world would be like. I had forgotten most of it-I remembered few times from when I was five and younger, particularly a single song. I only remembered one word, however, and it was 'twist.' Hmph. Great. The only thing I remember from my childhood was a song with the word 'twist' in it.

I continued working through-out the day, talking with Rebecca and Evra. I didn't even realize when it got dark out.

"Hey, Amber, Crepsley wants to see you." Darren said quickly as he passed.

"Great. I forgot about that." My shoulders slumped. My impression of Larten Crepsley wasn't too great. All I knew about him was he always he a sarcastic look in his face with a displeased expression. He seemed harsh, but he seemed to care enough about people. He was cynical, but he seemed more like a judgmental father then a rude teacher.

As I walked to Crepsley's tent, I felt an strange thirsty feeling, not like water thirst, but some mix between hunger and exhaustion and dehydration. It made me feel weary and a wave of malaise washed over me. If I walked another step, I would faint. My vision started to blur. My throat suddenly grew dry and I had never felt a pain like this.

My mind reeled, trying to figure out what was happening to me. I had felt this once before, when I searched my mind, when I was about six, and they decided to punish me for biting them.

I heard a heart beat next to me. It was the only sound I heard in that moment. Everything else had dimmed. I turned to the rhythmic sound, and saw only a neck with a bright blue vein sticking out.

What I did was instinctive. I lunged.

Only after I did so did I realize it was Mr. Crepsley.

My mind cleared, and I wondered what the hell I was doing.

"Amber…?" Crepsley asked.

"I-I-I-," I stuttered, at a loss for words. I blushed wildly.

"I see I was right." He smirked. "Come. We must talk about this." My heart hammered as I followed him into his tent. I noticed it had the structure of a spider. Hm. Nice touch.

"Amber, you are like me." He admitted. "A vampire."

"What?" I had never heard a term like that, but it sounded dark and just a little evil. It might have been the way he said it, but there seemed to be an ancient power to the word.

"We age at 1/100 the speed of normal humans. We need to drink blood to survive." He explained quickly, blankly, as if this was completely ordinary. For him, it was, but for me…this is just another why I'm a freak.

"You have to be mistaken. I've never drank blood. I've been at that circus for 10 years since I was five, and aged there."

"If you were a vampire the entire time, then it was much longer then 10 years. In that time, you would have only aged a year, two years if you're a half-vampire, which I'm guessing you are." He said this like it was a diagnosis from a doctor, like it was some disease.

"Wait, wait, wait, Crepsley. I've never drank blood. I would remember it. There's no way I'm a vampire. I'm already enough of a freak." I insisted. This was just ridiculous!

"The evidence is there. If you choose to not see it, that's your fault." He waved his hand in a gesture to make me leave. I gritted my teeth, and stormed out, feeling extremely deadly and evil. I shook with anger. He was such a jerk! He could have at least told me the truth without being a total dick head.

I needed to get away. The thought of Evra's mocking smile or even Rebecca's sweet face would have just made me more angry. They would think I was over-reacting, just the paranoid true freak. Compared to other freaks, they were normal. They weren't even 'freaks.' I was the real freak-I probably had mental problems and found comfort in the thought of running through the night like a cat and hunting.

That actually sounds nice right about now. Movement would ease my mind.

I went to the forest next to the campgrounds, got on all fours, and broke into a run.

It was exhilarating to be completely free. My heart pounded made a gentle rhythm that my mind now thought to. The little words that came to my mind fit inside heartbeats. Everything else was pure animal instinct, and it was pure bliss to not think, and just do.

I eventually had the mind of a cat. I didn't think in words, but rather senses; sights and smells and sounds. Later, I found that this only supported the fact that I was a true freak, but at that moment, it felt completely natural, like I was complete.

I started to feel the same hunger I felt earlier, before I entered Mr. Crepsley's tent. I didn't think about it like I did before, but I only eyed movement, and lunged.

I could have been biting into Mr. Crepsley himself and I wouldn't have known. I only heard an animal cry of pain, and felt a smooth liquid touch my lips that were suddenly dry. I released a moan of relief. It was like cold water on a hot day, refreshing and just so _good_…

I finally got my human mind back, and gasped.

There was a thick metallic taste in my mouth, full of it. In front of me was a deer, a small one, just a doe, with teeth marks on it's neck, and it's eyes blank and dead. I stumbled backs on the ground, fur gliding across damp earth. I spit all the liquid out of my mouth. Dark blood landed on the ground, looking black in the moon light.

I stood up on two feet, and ran. I had lost track of time, and didn't know exactly how far I was, but I knew it was a decent distance, and that I had to get back to the Cirque or they would wonder where I was. All of this was true, but I didn't run away because of those factors. I ran because I was horrified, and disappointed in myself.

I wasn't just a freak anymore. I was a monster.


	6. Chapter 6

To the few that actually read this, (I'm going by number of reviews) I'm sorry I might not be able to update frequently this next week. First of all, band is murdering me. I'm marching in a Christmas Parade tomorrow. Yep. On a Saturday. At 9 in the morning. I'm not even awake at 9. There's also an English project that I have only five days to do (thank you, procrastionation) and a Science project that is cruical to my grade that is also due rather soon. These will take up much of my time, but I swear upon my life I will not abandon this story or any more of my stories. I've done it before, and I still feel guilt from it…wow, that sounded lame. Anyways, I have major plans for our little Amber…including changing her name, and making her into an almost-Mary Sue. There's something you probably guessed she is, and the fact that she is also a tiger adds to the Mary-Sueness. I certainly hope she doesn't end up a crappy character-I'm trying really hard to make sure she isn't.

Ok, end of excessivly long Author's Note. Commense pinecone-throwing at the author for writing the author's note. Excuse me while I get my riot shield.

Please don't kill me.

-Hannah.


	7. Chapter 7

The organization of this chapter is a little strange…it begins in the present day, but a long amount of time passes during it, and I didn't feel like putting 'x days later, y months ago,' and I tried to make it work, but it may be a bit confusing…if you really think I need to adjust it, tell me, and I'll edit it some.

I hestiated as I looked at the campgrounds, with the lanterns bright in the dark sky, pushing away shadows and filling the air with a mystical light. It was so pure and good-I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't belong there. I was a monster, and that was a place of happiness.

I don't deserve to be there. I'm a monster that kills innocents and drinks their blood. I shouldn't be allowed to live. Why should I, when I will kill so many others?

I kept my eyes firmly planted on the group, feeling ashamed. If I saw Evra, I didn't know what I would do. I don't deserve his laid-back kindness or Rebecca's open love, or even Darran's matter-of-fact care.

Walking slower then I've ever walked before, I trudged to Crepsley's tent, and knocked. While I was waiting, I felt tears well in my eyes.

No. I will not cry.

"Mr. Crepsley…" I whispered. "I'm sorry." I couldn't bear to look at him. "I…think you're right. I'm a vampire." My voice broke and I saw Crepsley bite his lip.

"I'll explain it all to you." He invited me in, and I sat down on the ground with my legs crossed, still not meeting his gaze. "Don't get all worked up-vampires don't kill, vampaneze do." I released a sigh of relief.

"What's the difference between the two? Besides that?" So I wasn't a monster. I'm not a murderous leech. I'm just like a human, only I, you know, drink blood.

"Nothing. Minus the insanity. And, vampaneze kill when they feed-vampires do not." He shrugged. "What I don't understand is how you insist that you've never drank blood before…"

"I never remember anything vampire-y in the slightest." I admitted. "But, I guess jumping on an innocent deer and drinking their blood isn't very human." I shrugged.

"Wait." Crepsley grabbed my face and looked into my eyes for a long time. "Yes. A little purple, hardly noticable…is it possible your keepers were vampaneze?"

"I…remember…" I stuttered. I came back to me. A man, my keeper, jumping on an innocent woman, and ripping into her neck, listening to her screams of pain that faded into gurgles, and finally silence.

That was when I was only seven. But I remember it vividly, at least, now I do.

"You are taking this well." He said across the room. I wasn't sure if it was sarcastic or truthful.

"I guess since I'm half-tiger, nothing can really shock me anymore." I shrugged. "The reason _why _I'm a half-tiger will probably surprise me though." He turned to face me.

"I wouldn't want to know." He shuddered. "Look, before I start to teach you to become a vampire and make you drink blood and all that bullshit, I want you to know that this isn't a walk in the park-you're a vampire now, and it's a very serious thing. No making jokes. No laughing about it. It's a lonely life-you see everyone you care about die. Everything you know dies. If you can't face that, then get out of it."

"How could I get out of it?" I asked, cheerfully. Was there some cure, or…?

"Sucide." He answered grimly. The cheer evaporated from my face. Oh well.

"I can handle it." I promised. "I've endured worse."

"Then you will be a very strong-willed vampire, if not a strong one." I swear I saw some flicker of a smile-a real smile, not a mocking smirk or taunting laugh. Just a smile. A happy one, but it disappeared just as quickly. "Come back tomorrow, and we'll begin your training."

"Yes, sir." I nodded, but paused before I left the tent. "Thank you, Mr. Crepsley."

"Don't mention it."

A vampire. I was a vampire.

It was odd that I wasn't freaking out right about now, but I guess nothing can surprise me anymore. This is as freaky as it gets.

Ha. I made a funny.

So, first of all, I probably have mental issues that haven't surfaced yet, due to events such as my mother abandoning me and being tortured by vampanze. You know, things that can really screw up someone's mental health. Second, I'm half tiger, and as if that weren't weird enough, I'm a vampire now too.

What am I? Am I human? Or am I some freak?

"Amber!" I heard Rebecca call. I turned to face her, no longer feeling unworthy of her kindness. "Where'd you disappear to? We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Rebecca, I've…learned something." I bit my lip. Her eyes widened in curosity. "I…I'm a vampire." She didn't look shocked.

"Crepsley told Darren, and Darren told me…I'm…sorry…" she didn't know what to say.

"It's not your fault." I gave a soft smile. "It's those damned vampanze's fault-I'm going to find them and kill them." I suddenly had a flood of adrenaline. I wanted to destory things with my bare hands, and rip them to shreds. I _felt _powerful. I heard Rebecca chuckle softly.

"Good luck." She smiled. "You might want to tell the camp that you're here before they start calling the police."

We told Mr. Tall, and he informed everyone I was alright. I was surprised that they cared-so surprised it almost brought tears to my eyes. Almost.

As I walked back to my tent, I thought_ 'This is happening too fast…just a couple days ago, I was stuck in a cage, being laughed at, taunted, and forced to be a circus attraction. Then, the next day, I was at a freak show, and the next, I was a vampire…' _It seemed as if I had jumped into a lake, and was being plunged into action. No…more like falling down a slide in slow motion. I was falling into my fate, no longer as a caged animal, but a person, and not just a person-a part of a community of people who care. I was falling into place.

I also felt a bit uneasy when I was alone. I would think, _'How was a vampire this long, and I never knew it?' _but then Evra or Rebecca would pop up, and I would stop thinking so hard.

Crepsley whipped me into shape-I was now a cold-blooded killer, and he, at my request, made me a full-blooded vampire. I drank regulary, never killing, and learned much about my kind's past, and the vampaneze. I learned how to fight, flit, and, if need be, kill.

I grew extremely close to everyone in the camp. It seemed as if my fur-covered black-striped skin melted away. I get my long, black hair cut to my shoulders, and looked exactly like a normal 15-year-old.

Evra and I became inseperable. He was the best friend I ever had. We spent all day together, and often, when I would wake up crying from nightmares, he's comfort me in his soft, quiet humor. We never took further steps then that, and truthfully, I didn't want to. At times, when I wanted him to kiss me, hold me, tell me he loved me, I would remind myself I was still healing from those 50 years in that cage. I had discovered that I had been born in 1955, and my mother gave me away in 1960. I went into cities and performed in shows, and I became normal, or at least as normal as I could be, and it took me about one year.

I was 16, and happy. My life seemed perfect. I had the most amazing friends and the best 'job' and I had never felt so contented.

That was, until a certain person that seemed vaguely familiar arrived at the Cirque.

**DUN-DUN-DAH!**

**-Hannah**


	8. Chapter 8

**www. youtube .com/watch?v=IbgpjqNN2Vs I choose this one, because it reminded me of fear lanced with anger, and a bit of sadness. Doesn't fit it perfectly, but it was the best I could find.**

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I had dreamt of my old keeper the night before. He had flaming red hair and mad purple eyes. He looked like the type to have freckles, but his skin was either too dirty or too strangly colored to show. His nails were sharp as daggers, and he was inhumanly strong, and had a cold, merciless nature that was alike that of a shark.

Nathaniel.

And that morning, there he was. Standing in front of the arch that was the entrance to the camp, eyes shining evilly, lips curved into a savage smile.

I couldn't breath. Fear that I'd fought long to suppress had resurfaced. This _thing _would kill me without a second thought. He wouldn't care that Cirque Du Freak was netural.

"Hello there, kitty." He laughed darkly. "Happy to see me?" That fear turned to fury. A year ago, I would have been petrified by my fear. But I've grown since then. I'm stronger now.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, trying my best to look fearsome.

"I? I have come to look at the amazing variety of people that live here." He said with false innocence. "You? You're here because you ran away from home."

"This place is my home. Go away." I refused to scream. If I could make this less of an incident I would. He just chortled.

"My dear, this place is strictly neutral! I can come here if I desire, as long as I cause no trouble." He started to walk closer, and I took a deep breath.

"If you take one step closer, I'm going to kill you." I promised. I had dreamed of killing him for a long time, and I planned out exactly how.

"That would be violating the rules of the Cirque. Surely you know this, my dear?" Damn it, he was taunting me!

"I'm not 'your dear,' and I suggest leaving." My hands clenched into fists.

"I thought I taught you better then this, tsk, tsk, tsk. Will I have to reteach you?"

"You mean beat me into submission again?" My voice was shaky and my breath was shallow. "No. I'll _make _you leave."

"And how will you do that?" He was now right in front of me-all he had to do was grab me, and flit away, and that would be that. I could hardly breath.

"Amber!" I heard someone call. My head whipped around to she a shocked, but rather angry looking Mr. Crepsley.

"You've named this beast?" Nathanial laughed evilly. "I'm surprised you let her act like she's human."

"I am half-human, unless you forgot." I hissed. He just rolled his eyes.

"When your mother sold you to us, she was far from human." He started to circle me, like a shark stalking prey. "Addicted to every drug imaginable and sleeping with random men to buy more drugs. She was a slut, a filthy slut with all sorts of diseases. And she still was when she came back for you when you were seven, which was twenty years later. She had cleaned up a bit, but I still killed her. She squealed when she died, like a stuck pig."

I released a cry of rage, and clawed him in the face, using the millisecond when he recoiled to kick him in the stomach, surprisingly sending him crashing into a tent. He gave a slow and fearsome chuckle. Crepsley lunged, but with a simple push, Nathaniel had him at the other side of the Camp.

I rushed him, charging on all fours, but he easily, it seemed with the flick of his wrist, grabbed my leg, and flung me away. I collided with the ground, and it felt like someone was sticking a thousand little needles in my back. I released a loud grunt of pain, but I got right back up, and charged him again.

Apparently, he thought I was clumsy. He's wrong.

At the last second I jumped out of the way, and he stumbled forward. I was behind him in a second, jabbing at him wildly on the pressure points Crepsley taught me. He was staggered, if only for a moment, but regained himself, and flung right back at me.

"Enough!" Mr. Tall yelled, his voice booming like thunder. We both knew the campgrounds were to be neutral. We failed at that.

I took my chance, and decided, rather then stay and chat, to run away. The fury had gave out, and now I was just terrified of him. If Mr. Tall didn't interfere, I don't think anyone could have. It's hard to make a vampire and a vampaneze stop fighting, my case especially.

I examined the many cuts and bruises I now had, and licked them, which at first sounded dreadful, but they healed wonderfully. I don't know what sort of stuff was in my spit that would give it those properties, but, frankly, I don't really want to know.

I had gotten to the entrance of my tent before Evra stopped me.

"Amber, you kicked that guy's ass!" He exclaimed.

"No I didn't." I chuckled. "I was under the impression _he _kicked _my _ass, considering I ran away with my tail between my legs.

"Really? Because he has claw marks all over him. And you don't have a scratch."

"That's because I already _licked _them." I laughed. "The only thing that's bothering me is…why did he come here? Does he plan to take me back to the circus, or kill me, or what? He's always enjoyed mind games." Evra shifted uncomfortably.

"I, uh, I…you know I'd never let them take you…" he said in almost a whisper. Aww. He looked all nervous, biting his lip and all. It was cute.

"That's sweet, Evra. But maybe he just wanted to see where I was….but if it comes to that, Evra, _please _stay out of it. I…don't want you hurt." Before he could respond, I wrapped my arms around his waist, and kissed him.

Heh. I hadn't even kissed anyone like this. It felt…amazing.

"Amber." I heard Mr. Tall say behind us. "There is something we must discuss."

"Yes, Mr. Tall." I pulled away with a sigh, and followed Mr. Tall into his tent.

"You understand we cannot risk this happening again." He explained. It felt like treason to be sitting in the same room with the monster that kept me in a cage for 50 years. I had always vowed to myself that when I finally saw this man, I would kill him, yet here I was, calmly discussing how _he_ was going to _me_.

"I understand that." I nodded.

"It doesn't have to happen again." Nathaniel said. "Let me take her, and I'll never come back."

"And why would he do that?" I hissed.

"Because, he knows the Cirque _must _remain neutral. It won't remain neutral if vampaneze keep attacking it." He gave a savage smile. "Mr. Tall is it? You should know that sometimes, you have to put the needs of others before the needs of one. If you let me take her, then you will never see me, or my…friends again, and I will personally speak out against anyone who desires to harm you, or any person you know."

"You're insane! Mr. Tall wouldn't…" my voice faltered when I saw the look on his face. He was considering it. I sighed. "I understand." It left like a lead weight dropping. Dear grew in me-what would this man do to me this time? Oh, Lord, I don't even want to think about it… "I'll go with him, Mr. Tall." My hands clenched into fists, and shook wildly, but I refused to cry, even though I felt like doing exactly that. It would only please Nathaniel.

"I'm glad you saw reason. I assumed _beasts _didn't understand logic."

"Now that is enough!" Mr. Tall yelled. He may let me go, but he wouldn't let him treat me like this. That made me feel a little better. "She is no animal-I believe it is you who are the beast." I giggled. Nathaniel's lips pulled back over his teeth.

"You have not seen her when she's hungry." He grabbed my wrist, clamping down like a steel trap, and dragged me out of the tent.

_No, _my mind protested. _It took you 50 years to get away from him, and now you're surrendering yourself like this? You should be kicking, screaming, fighting! You won't let this man abuse you any more! _

_You have to, Amber. You can't focus on yourself. Everyone else here…that's more important then you. _

_Have you forgotten all the nights spent in that cage, spat on and fed scraps? Have you forgotten the shame that was forced upon you? Have you forgotten the pain you've suffered? _

_No. But I'll go through it again for this place. _

"Amber!" Rebecca yelled.

"Can we please stop? I…really need to say goodbye." I asked. He halted, but didn't let go of my hand.

"Amber…please don't go." I realized that she, along with most of the Cirque was there.

"I don't have a choice, Rebecca. I have to." I gave her an awkward one-armed hug. "Where's Evra?"

"I don't know where he is. I can't find him." She admitted, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry…"

"Tell him I said good-bye." My voice broke, and I looked at the crowd gathered. "Thank you for being so kind to me." You're the reason I'm going with him-all of you. Especially you, Rebecca. "Good-bye, Rebecca."

For them, for these amazing people; that's why I let Nathaniel drag me away from the only home I've ever known.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry I haven't updated recently-been kinda swamped lately. Science project, academic team, home work, clarinet practice…GRR! And, then, to top if off, I got SEVERE writer's block…I blame academic team.**

**www. youtube .com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck**

* * *

I released a savage scream as he yanked hard on my hair. It felt as if a thousand needles were jabbed into my head.

I learned a while ago that thrashing would equal a cut on my arm from his long, unnaturally sharp nails. I was already bleeding like crazy on my right arm.

"Silence, beast!" he hissed, his voice slicing through the air like knife. I grimaced as it attacked my ear, rough and sandpaper-y. Like a cat's tongue.

Come to think of it, he is a like a cat; like a panther. Hiding in darkness, springing at just the right moment.

And now, I'm in it's claws.

"I'm not a beast! I'm a damn human, just like you once were!" I yelled, cutting him with the graceful but fearsome-looking claws I had grown to perfection on my hands.

Nathaniel had never let pain bother him.

He slammed me into the same metal and wood cage I had been in before I broke out. He had repaired it, and reinforced it with more metal.

_No, no, no, no, no, not there, no, no, no, no, no…_this cage had been a symbol of my nightmares, a pillar of my fears. That cage, full of matted fur and blood, reeked of pain, loss, sadness, and rejection. I couldn't go back into that thing.

Yet, I had no choice as the lock clicked.

Insanity creeped into the edges of my mind, hiding inside the corners. The numerous cuts Nathaniel had inflicted had begun to burn as tears filled my eyes. The rough hay scraped across my skin.

I grabbed the bars of the cage, released a cry of rage into the night, shaking the cage.

But no one heard me. Nathaniel had left, and I was completely alone.

* * *

No one was going to stop Evra.

He had listened in on Mr. Tall's little 'discussion.' Pure, steely anger had drove him to do what he did now.

He grabbed one of Rebecca's bags, filled it with a few necessitates, and stuffed it into a hoodie, and walked away from camp.

He knew that Amber would be crushed that he wasn't there to say goodbye, but he didn't need to. He was going to see her soon.

No one even noticed as he slipped into the forest outside camp. It might not have been the best idea, but it was the only one he had. He assumed that since they found Amber in the forest, he must be able to get to the 'circus' from the forest. Now, the only problem he faced was trying to find which way to go.

He decided that when you're in a struggle, you probably are only going straight, so he kept going north. He could only hope that he wouldn't get lost.

Of course, when he got back to the came (if) they would say it was a stupid idea, but he knew that. He knew that he might be killed, but that's only a 'might.' He had seen the suffering Amber went through after getting back from that place. He wasn't going to allow her to go through it again.

* * *

"Why did you wait so long?" I asked as Nathaniel walked by the next morning.

"They taught you to speak, did they?" He chuckled. "Believe it or not, that fool Crepsley stood watch for quite a while. He knew that we would be back to get you, and we couldn't do that with him watching. We waited until he stopped watching, which was about two months ago. We waited until your guard went down…and here you are." I smiled slightly. Crepsley was watching out for me? Guess he doesn't hate me. At least, as much as I thought he did.

"But you might as well forget them…you aren't going back." He flashed a savage smile. "And, like a naughty child, you must be punished for running away from home."

(A/N This part is rather gory…if that bothers you, you might not want to read this part…it doesn't hold any important plot information anyway)

He yanked my hair through the bars of the cage, banging my head on the metal. I released a loud groan of pain, but that only rewarded me with another hit. I bit down on my tounge and took the beating.

After a dark chuckle, he unlocked the cage, and I had a slight idea of attacking him, but I knew that could wind up in my death.

He pulled me by the hair, which started to get really annoying, as it felt like he was gouging a million needles into my head, onto the dirty ground, and gave a swift and direct kick to my ribs. My mind swam as I gasped for air, every breath like nails.

By now, the only thoughts that came to my mind alternated between two things-first, what actions were inflicted upon me, and second, the pain that followed.

Dust kicked into my eyes, squinting. Claws on my legs and arms, ripped flesh. A crack in my arm-lightning pain. Angry tears welling in my eyes. Fur pulled. Bit by razor sharp teeth.

The pain was unlike anything I had felt before-it left me breathless, shivering, gasping, sputtering. I had lost control, and that was what terrfied me the most.

There was too much blood. Too much pain. Too much fear.

I can't…

* * *

Evra's heart thudded as he saw a large clearing ahead. He broke into a run, unfazed by the branches and weeds scraping against his skin.

He couldn't believe he found it-by some miracle of luck, he hadn't gotten lost, and found the circus, and now, he was going to barge in there, a knife he stole from the camp in his hand, and get Amber out of there. He would kill every person in there, if he had too, but from what Amber described, her cage was always a distance away from everyone else-she guessed they didn't want a 'beast' around them.

An untamed smile reached his face. Nothing could bring him down from his natural euphoria. He chanted her name over and over again in his mind…

Until, when we stumbled upon the clearing, and found nothing there.

His jaw dropped along with his high feelings. After the moment of shock, anger washed over him. With a groan, he kicked the ground, making grass and dirt fly.

"Damn." He muttered, clenching his teeth.

He saw the road up ahead, and decided to go to the nearest was dying of thirst, and his stomach rumbled, loud as thunder. He a loud sigh, he got on the road, and began to ramble along on his journey.

* * *

I awoke a few minutes later inside my cage. Pain slammed into me like a fright train. The bleeding in my arms had stopped, and the wounds had closed, probably from Nathaniel using his 'super-spit' or whatever the hell was in vampire and vampaneze saliva. Even though I wasn't bleeding, I was still covered with brusies, and my arm was in a cast-wait, a cast? Why would he care enough to put a cast on me?

I sat up to examine it further, but a sharp pain filled my chest. I sat back with a groan. A broken arm and a broken rib. Wonderful.

Each breath was like venom, and I could hardly move. Was this what I was going to be subject to for the rest of my life, which will probably be very short, ended when Nathaniel decides that he's finished with his toy? Is this going to be it?

And, at that moment, I did something I hadn't done in a long time-cry.


	10. Chapter 10

**A warning…there's a rape in this chapter, so…if you don't enjoy reading that sort of thing, you can just skip the part (I'll tell you when it's coming up with a *) because it doesn't really add to the plot.**

* * *

As Evra stumbled along the road, holding out a thumb as he trekked, he realized that he was completely alone. If he were to be picked up by some phychoatic killer, Mr. Tall or Mr. Crepsley wouldn't show up to save him. He was on his own, and he had to be smart.

He also realized that, being a snake-boy freak, no one would stop for him.

He immediately put his thumb down. He decided that he would walk along the road, run whenever he had more energy, until he reached any sort of civilization that didn't seem like a Micheal-Myers dwelling.

He could only pray that Amber was still alive, and never give up.

Eventually, he reached a place in his mind where all thought eluded him, and the hours changed into minutes. He trudged along, mind focused on finding someone, _anyone _who would take him in.

He ignored the pains in his legs and his aching feet, and mindlessly journeyed down the road. Eventually, he stumbled along a small town by the name of Sebree. He silently thanked God, or whatever higher power was up there.

He almost ran into the town, looking for any place to get something to eat. It was late afternoon and he was exhausted, hungry, and, most of all, thirsty. He saw a small diner and ran in.

The diner consisted of bars and stools, and nearly empty accept for a small group of teenagers. He took a seat, far away from people as he could, and waited to order.

Evra's heart pounded. He hadn't been out of the Cirque for a while, and wasn't prepared for _people_. He knew he would get strange glances, some (who was he kidding, _most) _would call him a freak.

The group of teenagers looked at him, and migrated over.

"Holy shit…" a bulky guy said. "What's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with him." A sweet, intelligent looking brunette smiled while examining him. "I think it's cool."

"He's a total freak!"

"You're the freak here, Shane." She hissed. He raised his hands in mock innocence.

"Sorry, but it's true."

"Ignore him." A blue-eyed blond said. "I'm Ashley, and this is Jennifer," she pointed to the intelligent one. "Shane," the bulky one, "Anna," she tilted her heads towards a girl with dark, short hair and a dark hoodie, "and Kyle." Kyle was a lanky boy with a bit of acne but a shining gleam in his eyes.

"Where'd you come from? I haven't seen you here before." Ashley asked.

"I, um, came over from a different town." He sure as hell wasn't going to tell them that he lived in a circus. "I'm actually looking for something, err, something. But right now, I just want to get something to drink."

"Oh!" the waitress, a woman in her early 20's said, walking over. "What can I get 'cha, hun?"

"Just water." She nodded, pivoted and got water from the machine, and gave it to Evra. He had never been so thirsty in his life and gulped the liquid down in seconds.

"Wow…thirsty?" Shane chuckled. The waitress kindly got him another while grabbing a menu.

"Dude, I just walked for 5 hours straight. Of course I'm thristy."

"Walking on the highway?" Jennifer asked. "Where are you headed?"

"I don't…know exactly. Was there some sort of circus around here, maybe a little ways down the highway?" Evra's heart was pounding. He glanced at the menu, and ordered a cheeseburger. There was never a more pleasing sound then the hiss of the griddle.

"Yeah, about a week ago. We all went to it." Kyle answered. Evra's eyes lit up.

"Was there a schedule or anything?"

"I still have it at home on the nightstand…" Ashley said. "Why are you so interested in it?"

"He wants to join it." Shane snickered.

"I…" Evra sighed. "It's a long story."

"We have plenty of time. We'll drive you to where you're going, and you can tell us in the car." Jennifer advised.

"After I eat?" Evra asked, staring longingly at the food. Jennifer chuckled.

"Of course."

* * *

(*)

"Wake up." Nathaniel commanded. My eyes fluttered open. He held a bowl filled with dark liquid-blood-to me. I didn't know, or care, where he got it-I gasped, grabbed it, and greedily drank the contents. He only chuckled. I gave him a death glare.

"You better appreciate it…it's the last you'll get for a while." He then gave me a look that terrified me most. It wasn't an 'I hate you' look, or even a 'I'm going to beat your ass' look…it was the look a shark would give it's prey before swooping in on it.

He unlocked the cage, and grabbed me by the hair. I grunted and clenched my teeth. He then slammed me to the ground. I suddenly noticed that we were far, far away from the rest of the circus, and were hidden in the cover of night.

My heart hammered against my rib cage. I was at an impasse…either pray for a merciful, quick death or suffer while hoping for rescue.

No. I can't give up. Someone will come, I don't care if it's the police. Someone will come eventually.

"I never really saw your beauty, before, Amber…you're a beast, yet you have retained your mind, and now…I see you as an exotic beauty." My eyes widened. Oh, please, don't let him…

"That doesn't mean I consider you a human." He grabbed me by the waist, crushing me to him. I struggled, thrashing. He chuckled, and dug his nails into the thin skin on my hips. I cried out. "This will really be a lot easier if you don't struggle." He whispered in my ear. "No one's going to help you, not matter how much you scream…and there's no chance of you getting away, so why don't you just be a good little girl for once?"

"Never!" I hissed, kicking. He sighed.

"I see you don't quite understand reason yet. Do you really think you can get away just by squirming?"

"I'll fucking kill you!" I yelled, elbowing, hissing, and clawing.

"Crepsley hasn't trained you well enough…you can't fight me." I whimpered. He only laughed.

His purpled hand ripped off the bare shreds of cloth that was my 'clothes.' Oh, God, his hands sent chills through me…his touch was like a millipede crawling up my skin. I shivered, the wind whipping across my naked body.

Oh, please, don't let him do this…

Feelings of revulsion made me want to gag. No, no, no, no, no, no, no…

He growled, and stroked my body. I tried to shrink away from his disgusting touch, but it only made closed to his body, his wretched body.

I had never felt this sort of fear before, not when I was escaping the circus, not even when Nathaniel was beating me, because, somehow, this was worse. This was the total domination…he's stealing everything I have. He's conquering me completely, to the point where I was no longer me.

A cry escaped my throat. I knew that crying and whimpering would only please Nathaniel, but it was hard not too…I was being violated and taken.

One hard still hooked around my waist, he pulled his pants off, kicking them to the side. He brushed the hair away from my neck, and whispered in my ear, "Really, if you relax it won't be as bad…hell, you might even enjoy it."

"In your dreams." I spat. He only laughed.

I whimpered when I felt his hardness brush against my thigh.

Close your eyes, and try not to think about it, and it may be over quickly…

Pain shot through my body when he shoved into me. A scream escaped my throat. My claws shot out of my hands and dug into Nathienal's arms.

Get thrust left me shuddering and in pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying for an end, trying to imagine it wasn't happening. I screamed and cried until he climaxed, and dropped me to the group, satisfied.

(*)

I was breathless, star dancing in front of my eyes. Nathaniel, once more, grabbed me by my hair, and threw me into the cage, and locked it. He walked awawy laughing.

I curled into a ball, hyperventilating, trying to remain warm. Eventually, I closed my eyes, and fell into a lit sleep filled with nightmares.

* * *

Evra explained his situation calmly as Jennifer drove. Evra was worried-it was about 6, and the sun was setting. Thankfully, Shane stayed quiet once he learned there was a girl involved.

"I was in a 'circus,' though it was more of a family then a circus, and had been there my entire life. There was a girl there, Amber, who appeared one night. She's half-tiger-sort of like I am, only a different animal."

"Obviously." Shane snorted.

"She was held captive in a different circus that tortured her-the one we're going to now-and she escaped one night. She was there for about a year before her old keeper came back, and took her back to his circus."

"Oh…she was…tortured?" Ashley asked. Jennifer slammed the brakes on.

"Kyle." She hissed. "You dad still has all those guns?"

"Well, yes, but…you're not thinking about…taking them?" he stuttered.

"If these other people tortured her, they obviously can defend themselves, and could easily keep us and torture us. Would you like that? We'll need some sort of self-defense. If police haven't been able to help the poor girl, what can a bunch of teenagers do?"

"But…we can't just go in there and shoot them!" he objected.

"Kyle, we're not dealing with people who follow the law. We aren't dealing with nice people-we have to be not-so-nice ourselves." Ashley said, grinning.

"Fine. I'll unlock the garage, and we'll get some of his guns…God, if he finds out, he'll kill me."

"They may very well kill this girl-Amber." Jennifer retorted.

She turned around, and drove toward the town.

The circus was four hours away from here, and they'd have _guns_. Evra had a burst of hope.

He _will _get Amber out of this.

A while later, they had gathered plenty of guns-two machine pistols, which Evra and Shane took, two shotguns which Jennifer and Ashley had, and Kyle and Anna bore revolvers. They were ready, and set off.

By now, it was 7, and we would be at the circus at 11. The group decided on attacking at night, even though Evra objected. The circus was run by vampaneze, but he could only get Amber out at night.

Evra felt like a soldier about to go into battle-he might die, but he might win. The feelings of uncertainty was nauseating.

He was, however, surprised at the group he was with. At least he wouldn't be going it alone-he found a group willing to fight for him. He was lucky to have met them-if not, he wouldn't know what we would do.

For the remainder of the drive, Evra laid his head against the wind, lost in his thoughts.

* * *

Amber had pulled down the long sheet of metal Nathenial had implanted so she would be safe from the sun, even though it was night. She couldn't see anything, but she didn't even want to see herself. Nathenial had torn scraps of clothes at her, so she wasn't naked, but she felt dirty and wrong. A dirt clung to her skin that she could never clean. She sat in the blackness, knees hugged to her chest, crying and trying to take deep breaths.

Please, please let someone come.

* * *

Finally, Evra arrived at the location of the circus.

The campgrounds were in the forest, making it feel secluded and mystical. Too much like the Cirque.

He had a pang of homesickness, but now was not the time for it.

He was ready to make his final charge-he would attack, take Amber back, and kill Nathaniel slowly.

* * *

**Evra's a little strange in this chapter, but oh well! Sorry for the long update! I've been working on some original stuff (message me if you want to read it!) **

**Hope this was good (despite the rape scene!) **


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